Arizona Heartbreak

         Passion was something he missed. The fire of life that burned in him had long ago been extinguished. He realized this while she was busy driving.  Now, he was only full of guilt. Guilt for lying, and for living a lie. He didn't love her. Not in the unabashed way that she loved him. He played the role, was kind to her, comforted her, and in some moments he thought he could truly love her. But the moments always passed, and he was left feeling empty and exploitative. If only he could be free, he thought, and he stared at the warm colors of the desert sunset. But the fear always got in the way. He couldn't bring himself to do it, couldn't bring himself to break the heart of the one person who may have loved him, perhaps even the most, in his entire span of existence. It was hard to think of and even harder to do.

         So instead, there he was, in the middle of the Arizona high desert, on his way to meet her parents for the first time. The thought of living the rest of his life in this passionless state scared him. He was envious of an eagle he saw in the distance, and his face made his feelings apparent.

         “Is something wrong?” She asked

         “No”

         “We should be there before dark,” She tried to comfort him. He remained silent.

         “I love you,” She said

         “I love you too,” He lied.