afraid of affirmation

I go to funerals

in tall boots

and trench coats

I go to weddings

in pigtails

and fishnet stockings

I went to my graduation barefoot

with black lipstick

smeared across my face

I went to a concert

in my prom dress

with my hair dyed apricot

I go to interviews

covered in temporary tattoos

and a sequins skirt up to there

I go home to you exhausted

terrified of assimilation

avoiding fitting in