Empty Crib

Little baby boy in a sailor suit, curly red hair, and big green eyes

Waving bye-bye to me, a newly learned skill, while I stood on the sidewalk and cried

Bye-bye, mama, bye-bye

Oh, Lord, what have I done?

Too late to change my mind. He’s gone and I’ll soon be forgotten

Replaced with a big house, new toys, a mommy and a daddy-

everything he deserves and needs

Everything I could not give him. All I had to offer was me

I was not enough. Always running, trying to keep up

Falling short, falling behind, falling, always falling

He would finally wake up in the same place every morning

Same faces smiling at him every day

Same hands reaching out to love him

Sanity traded for my insane gypsy life

It was a good thing, right?

Why won’t anyone tell me I was right?

Thirty years went by before I finally realized

The sacrifice I made was worth the pain

My loss was his family’s gain

My broken heart healed their wounds, gave them joy

In a sailor suit, with curly red hair and big green eyes

a slightly used, but well-loved little baby boy