Reasons to Fight.

It's only pain I can control.

Telling myself to calm down over and over again doesn't work.

Breathing seems possible afterwards.

The shame and pain appears when he looks into my eyes as he kisses my scars.

It becomes unbearable I hear "Mommy, are you okay?" "I kiss it better" and see all the love in their eyes.

So, I fight for them. Only them.

Maybe, just maybe later I can finally fight for myself.