Motherly Love.

My mom doesn't like my new boyfriend because he is black.

My mom thinks I am "misled" because I am no longer a Christian.

My boyfriend is not a Christian, either.

That's strike 2.

My mom is racist and self-righteous. 

My mom believes I am still a virgin at 31. 

She just found out I am on birth control. 

Sixteen partners?

Strike 3.