No Idea

I'm drawing a blank

There's so many thoughts in my head I don't know how many I can get out,

my hands are restless, my breath is slow yet my heart has never raced faster than this moment

my feet are stuck to the floor and it's as if time is stopping only for me, pausing to give me a reprieve. Loathe I am to admit, I am human and I am living and breathing.

Pointless and redundant, is there a meaning for this existence or is it merely to suffer every agonizing moment in the crowds of the indulgent and shallowed.

Day in and day out, the world wears a mask of lies and slander meant to pacify the meandering and dangerously ignorant. What a worst fate is there? spoiled and shameless in their debauchery of the filth and riches of this world, where are the ones like me? the ones burdened with reality and finding fate and destiny unbecoming in their vague and bold claims that some things are meant to be- no matter how good or bad.

Do i even know what i'm saying? I'm stringing along sentences to match the pace and feelings in my brain, but it's there one word and gone the next, leaving only jumbled ideologies and proclamations. The longest draft in the world will never be enough to make my head empty, but each time I write, there's a little less to compact into empty space and forget, even a little, it still helps.