Secrets Remain Secrets

I need to tell you something

My mouth forms the words

I'm not ready to say

You turn your eyes to me

Eyes that swim with 

curiosity, anxiety

Icy hands grip my throat

as I try to spill those words

I've rehearsed a million times

They're just words

I lie to myself

Cowardice becomes me as my

mumbled apology replaces

what I really need to say to you

Momentary relief embraces me

but is quick to release its hold

as loneliness greets me

like an old friend