Screams of Silence

Yes I am guilty as charged with

Crimes of the body.

Not the heart,

Silence screams of shame

Screams of guilt

Screams of regret

Screams of fear.

Fear of loosing

The best thing ever to happen

In my life.

I understand if she says

She can’t do this anymore

While hoping and praying

She won’t.

I fucked up,

Scars to her soul

My actions have made.

Silence is a sign of remorse

And guilt,

Silence is me keeping my lunch down because if I speak I’m likely to puke it up with shame and guilt, Knowing how badly I fucked everything up.

Silence is me praying

Praying for her to find some sliver

Of forgiveness, maybe not even that, just some understanding

That I fucked up, and that I’m human, it’s what we do.

Silence is me understanding if she cant find any of that.

Silence is me killing myself in my mind, but knowing doing that would only further her pain.

Silence is all of that,

Multiplied by 1 million.

That is why I am silent not because I have none of these,

But because I don’t want to hurt her anymore than I already have.

Because every-time I do speak, I seem to.

That is why there is silence in me.