No Love Lost Here

He says I don’t say his name the same way anymore 
I say it, but it doesn’t sound like before 
Like when it used to drip off my tongue like honey 
Like when I could count all his syllables like money-
His nickname was worth it to me

I used to call his name out in the middle of the night because I knew he’d answer
Now I mumble it into the phone like I couldn’t get it out any faster 
Like the word itself leaves a bitter taste 
One I can’t wash down with any other chaser
I’m certain he knows now that I hate that flavor 
It lingers in the air as if I’d blown out vapor 
I remember the days I used to savor 
The ease of his name on my tongue- no labor

Nowadays his name falls out of my mouth like a landslide
Like a million rocks are hurtling toward me and I’ve got nowhere to hide
It hits me like a truck skidding in the rain
While I’m clutching the wheel and he’s hitting the brakes
I want to wipe his name off my lips- I want it to be erased

It tastes like gasoline and alcohol and every letter is the flick of a lighter 
I try to say it softly but the flames burn brighter
You see his name tastes like the way everything was supposed to be 
But now all I feel are the shards of glass from the big picture he had proposed to me 
Lesson learned, lesson gained- his name was never meant for me


So you can’t say it was love that was lost- it was always just love that could never remain with me