Till We Meet Again

This is my first poem about you

My first "I wish I knew how to put the brakes on loving you"

My first "I know I'm falling and I wish that wasn't true"

My first "I wish I didn't feel like such a fool"

You see, we are the definition of "Right person, wrong time"

So I'm writing you into these lines because my English teachers always told me

My writing would always remain

I wish I could say the same

About us, about you and me

Together for eternity

You said that you would marry me

But I know that this is all just a cover

I can see that we're going under

We're a ticking time bomb with just a few seconds left

Tick, tick, tick- under too much stress

We knew that this was never meant to last

But I didn't realize I could fall so fast

Tripping over my words with you on my mind

I look in your eyes and know I'm running out of time

My chest aches every time you hold me

Because I know that I could never be your only

I'm always the option, never the priority

Forgotten, the smallest of minorities

I'm not even a fraction of your heart

You say you're here for me, but we feel so far apart

I wish I never let you in

I wish I could stop writing you into existence

Into my narrative, into the words that will go down in my history

Into this story of "Right place, worst time"

Into these last few lines

I feel my heart beat faster whenever I hear your laughter

It breaks when you say we can never be more than this

It shatters when your kiss sets me on fire but I know that on your ladder of priorities

I could never climb any higher

In your chest of emotions you have nothing to fold away for me

You keep your feelings locked far away from me

You're afraid to be a part of me

I understand-

Even I ruin the best of me

So I write you into the only good thing about me

Into the only honest part about me

Into the most vulnerable areas of my mind

I let you become the cramp in my wrist instead of the tightness in my chest

You're the metaphor I come up with when I think I have nothing left

You're the stanza that hurts me the most but always sounds the best

You're the rhyme scheme I keep coming back to

The same narrative that I've gone through

The one I've so closely come to know

I know how this ends, I'm already bracing for the blow

And still I let you in when I really should be letting go

-LRD