if i could explain

I have nothing left in my pockets

I could have sworn they had something

Now empty and ground down like

My grandmothers right hip socket

I wish I had never spent it all

But I find myself with hands reaching deep

Into pockets with moth eaten holes

Leave it at the door please

Don’t bring those words in here

And splatter them against my walls

You’re mistaken to think they come off easy

But I find myself scrubbing them away in my freetime

They don’t seem to fade

What a collage we have created

Lately I’m convinced

I could be a different woman

If I could just make myself small enough

To fit into that couch weaving

Maybe if I suck in my breath

Long enough and at the right angle

My mind may slip in between those threads

Leave this body dead

That kind of freaks me out

These thoughts arrive in an amazon package

Same day delivery

Too heavy for what this is about

I’m an escape artist as it turns out

I’m trying not to slip away

But You have to be the One to lasso me in

I’m crying out to my Father

I hope You know

I hope You see

I hope You’re collecting these

Did you leave the 99

Are you looking for me

Where is my Keeper, did You change?

Where is my Shepherd, did You leave?

It must be my grief Lord

To think the grip of Your right hand has gone weak

Forgive me in my doubt

Help me in my unbelief

I have no other hope