safety

in the dark and silent safety- under my covers,

the moon trying to shine in,

i think of you.

i think of what we had,

but i've added on so much that never happened,

i don't know what's real anymore.

in the rowdy chaos of the school building,

i know what's real.

i remember what you did.

i remember coming to school, knowing it was the last time

i would see you and not want to cry,

or scream at you, or both,

and i know that i miss the you that i made up,

not the one you are.

i miss when you lied to my face about loving me,

and i had no idea.

i was oblivious,

but i don't miss you anymore.

because you were never who i thought you were.