Joy

Life's looking up for little ol' me

Been a while since I felt this happy

My joy is back

Got God to thank for that

I'm more confident than I've ever been

I can feel my joy seeping through my pen

No shame, no fear, no guilt weighing down on my shoulders

God loosed me from the boulders

That hung from my neck and pulled me down

Just when I thought I was going to drown

I shot up like a ball

And God caught me in my fall

I feel like everything is going my way

I find myself wishing my future was today

I don't dread it like I did in the past

With God's help, I know I'll last

Through the tough times, through the low times

Easy and high times, I'll be able to honestly say that I'm fine

I just feel so happy and optimistic

About the future, about the present

I feel comfortable in my skin

I don't feel like a monster trying to blend in

I grappled with addiction, but I gave it to God

Fearing being left, but knowing it was my next step, I came clean to my friends

It was hard, it hurt, but I knew it was what needed to happen in order to stop

I wish I could have met some of them in person, because I know there would have been tears shed

This last year has been transformative

Fighting for freedom, getting over someone, repairing a relationship

Learning that I don't need to keep everything bottled up inside

That I have friends and a Comforter in whom I can confide

Loving parents who are more supportive than I could have ever imagined

Looking back, I never thought that this could happen

I don't feel like I'm undeserving of being happy

I feel free to be me

I feel free

I know this verse has been quoted in music too much

But I got that joy down in my heart

Yeah, me and God won't ever part

He plotted the course on my chart

Time to fly into His embrace

No more shame when I look into His face

No more guilt when I go to pray

Can't express it all so I'll just say

I got that joy down in my heart

Life still isn't perfect, and I still blame myself

But you just gotta push that pessimistic voice into the depths of Hell

You don't have to feel guilty because you have joy

The voices telling you that need to be destroyed

Sure, it's easier said than done

But with God on your side the victory is sure as won

Life will never be perfect, and there's still things I'm working on

But count your victories and deal with the rest as they come

Fixing up your life takes a lot of effort

And for the last year, I've been putting in the work

I'm on the other side now

I feel invincible, like nothing could tear me down

I was boiling over with joy the other day

It's nice to be overflowing with happiness because you woke up that way

There's no inner turmoil

I just have peace that seems incapable of being spoiled

I'm closer to God than I've ever been, and there's still room to get closer

He's laid down His path for me, so I'm just going to keep moving forward

I no longer feel undeserving of being happy

I feel free to be me

I feel free

I know this verse has been quoted in music too much

But I got that joy down in my heart

Yeah, me and God won't ever part

He plotted the course on my chart

Time to fly into His embrace

No more shame when I look into His face

No more guilt when I go to pray

Can't express it all so I'll just say

I got that joy down in my heart

I'm sick of writing all these sad songs

Though it's nice to have a place to go to when you feel you've done something wrong

Or you need a place to vent when eruptions

Break out from your bottled up emotions

It's nice to be able to place

My thoughts in this safe space

But I used it as an outlet

Instead of talking about it

Opening up was freeing

I wonder what was keeping me from seeing

The path that led to my healing

Though I wish I could go back and keep some things

From happening

These storms and trials were the only way

To shape me into the man I am today