our sweet garden

i've been so lost in my own head lately

so bottled up in thoughts that shake around the room like tornados and shatter on the walls like broken china

i think about you sometimes and i wish i could say it makes the weather a little nicer,

but it's just more like flood warnings and foggy street lamps

like iced roads and fist sized hail

sometimes i think about me,

my future, my past

and i think about how my therapist once told me if i didn't stop thinking

and worrying

my head would soon explode and splatter on the walls like crimson paint and charcoal memories

my thundering thoughts thrown upon this house like an abstract art gallery

i was eleven,

and now i'm fifteen,

almost fifteen

still worrying about the same things and the same storms

the same damn weather warnings from four years ago

it's sad really, that it rains far too much in this little quaint town for us to ever grow our garden

i'm sorry we can't ever grow our garden.

because in truth i love the rain

i love thunderstorms and i love floods

i love when tears stream down my face like rain drops on a windowsill

i love the silver lining to every cloud

and i love you until the moon should turn upside down

i hope when it rains a little you think of me and my thundering thoughts

because in truth i'd love to grow my garden with you

but i love the rain far too much

and i know you never will.