you rushed it bud

once in a lifetime meeting with someone

the rush of endorphins is

kinda like drugs all day long

an obsession with skin and eye color

god this is purposeful

lovely and sexual

brand new identity

with endless complexity

planning for the future

"figuring it out" and

conveniently always fucking

realizing that's boring

going back to work and

having other things to think about

maybe someone dies and the feelings start changing

and there's not enough maturity to figure it all out

and the fucking starts festering, becoming routine

and the future becomes a steel cage

and like a trapped animal

you need to escape in some way

and you can't face them anymore, you feel guilt for some reason

and they notice "you've changed"

and repeat the same worries over and over again

but you don't want to hurt them

even though you hate them

and you try to hide it

and hurt them anyway

"goodbye then, I guess"