A Prayer?

There are days

I'm so amazed

That I refrain

these razor blades

From cutting skin

The state I'm in

Is hopeless

And I know this

is a war

I'll never win

I've never been

religious

But somehow in this

Bloody mess

There is a witness

Watching out for me

Might not be God

But it's all I've got

So I'll take the shot

Bended knees

Uplifted hands

Could someone out there

Understand?

I don't want to die

Give me a sign.

Amen, amen.

Morning light

I'm still alive

Maybe someone

Heard my cries

I'll try to fight

This urge to die

I purge my body

But my mind

Has other plans

And in its hands

The morbid thoughts

Start up again

A masochist

With bleeding wrists

Or a pill

I think that will

be faster

I won't last for

One more night

I'll see the light

If I get the dosage right

Won't even feel it

Just like sleeping

Nothing's real

The thought is creeping

In my head

Same one I get

The one that says

I'm better dead

Battles never over

I'm not going

If I know

This is a problem

Why can't I solve it?

This is sickness

Yes, I get it

But medicine I'm betting

Is a trigger

And I figure

Therapy

Won't work for me

I know I need

Greater attention

Intervention

Never works

It all still hurts

There is a hole

Inside my soul

Full of darkness

Light a spark

Is anybody there?

Amen, amen

I don't have any answers

Just a cancer

In my thoughts

I feel so lost

I'm willing to be wrong

So I'll play along

For anyone

To make things right

Or make things lighter

Let me live through

One more night

I'll be a fighter

Amen, amen

I live to fight again.