Binge

I'm fat; actually, I'm not, but that's what I believe so I eat once a day. I calorie count and obsess over my meals otherwise I'll devour an entire family size bag of chips and top it off with a gallon of ice cream. I'll demolish an 18" pizza by myself in a single sitting and scour the fridge for more food. Lack of self control spirals into despair and disgust so I limit what I eat, expulsion works until it doesn't. Food, I hate it but I love it; it's codependency, it's complicated, it's toxic.