My head

feeling a slave to my mind and my grave,

feeling ashamed,

Lost

And gazing down the rabbit hole.

Knowing better

Feeling stuck

Eyes on the truth

But feet glued to my dark side.

Crying in my dreams

Oh nothing is as it seems

As I’m broken on the inside

Depicting an angel the outside

Oh baby it’s cold inside

It’s snowing inside

And I’m scared

My heart a blizzard

I’m lost

Below all my pride

Trauma

Oh it guides

Me to my darkest places,

Angel the outside

Cold,

Frozen,

Can you see it in my eyes?

Nobody pure for me,

Am I the only angel in this city of mine?

I feel so alone

Dark and sunken in my mind

Sleeping is my only obvious mark

Tired of the remarks

All I’ve ever been is true,

And kind

And yet you see me as nothing

Screw you.

I miss the warmth of me

The girl of light

Never seen

Every shadow cast on me

My light dimmed

Telling myself

I’ll be alright

With losses comes night

Dark

Forgetting the bright

With seasons come change

My insides dying to white

Crying in my dreams

Oh nothing is as it seems

As I’m broken on the inside

Depicting an angel the outside

Oh baby it’s cold inside

It’s snowing inside

And I’m scared

Here,

I am here, my body

conditions with my mind austere

Unclear

Coating my mind with veneer

To glue my thoughts together

Before they fall apart

A thick coat like leather,

Barricading the dark cold weather

My soul of light feels slipping into a tether

Falling to the never lost land

Peter land, rabbit holes

Feeling strand-ed

As she landed with a thunk

As he commanded.

Who is he?

He who grew 11 feet tall

towering in the dark full of ego and greed,

The one who turns the freed to trapped

The bands to snapped.

As he stretches the souls

Who threw themselves to despair

In his lies they heard truth.

Who is he?

The commander of the darkest deeds

The one who sits in the shallows

Feeding from the pleads of the lost souls who fell in the currents of his shallows of darkness.

Eyes on the truth

But feet glued to my dark side.

The girl scared,

Running to hide.

Guarding her light,

With all her might,

Scared if it slips away,

Forever it will be night.

Hating her pride.

Or anything dark deep inside.

As she eyed her demons

She felt with every person

They dried her fountain

Of love and pushed her aside

To be used and bruised and burned and drowned

She learned she was never seen

For her light

She was seen for her body and items

An auction prize

That was labeled with lies

As lust was drooled in their eyes of dark

Inbreeding her with marks

Her losing her soul one by one

As people turned-

Away.

They never stay.

Pawns at play,

This evil game

Leaving her feeling astray, alone

In her cold soul.

Oh baby it’s cold inside

It’s snowing inside

And I’m scared

I’m scared to never be loved

By myself, again.

Trapped in the human psyche of cages

Abuse and fields of trauma

The weeds so tall I cannot see

Seen as recyclable

Despite my good deeds

Re-usable.

Used.

Bruised.

Who is he?

The dark.

Robbing the light.

The demon of death.

The devil himself.

He resides in you and me.

The key to the inner night,

And the lies

Your chains of your artificial gains

Chaining me down causing my pain

Your cocain bad morals

Causing my soul of light

To drown day by day

As it rains in my soul

Feeling drained

Irony

Oh what a shame

I miss the girl of light

Who was bright and sane

Not lost in this bloodstain built wall

Inside of my brain

That causes my head to fall to night

Dimming my clarity sight.