Please Give Me 15 Million Dollars or...

Ill open the potato chips and leave only one

Ill open the bag of cookies and leave only crumbs

The tater tots will vanish, a carrot in their place

Ill crush up all your pringles and leave nothing i their place

Ill walk around your house and leave handprints on the glass

Ill wait for three months and still not cut the grass

I wont take off my shoes after playing in the mud

And ill walk on your carpet and all over your rug

I wont change the light bulb when it flickers and goes out

Ill fill up the bathtub with a bunch of flailing trout

I wont close the fridge while I pour a glass of milk

And all ill put in a load of wash is one yellow kilt

Im holding my upbringing for ransom, mom

And theres no way you can sway me

Cause theres no way Ill move out and get a job

So if you want me to leave, pay me