The muscles in my neck are like tight metal bands. They pull tighter when I experience strong emotions- and sometimes they pull so tight that they take my jaw pulls backwards with them, and it presses on my carotid artery until I either give up on my emotion or faint. When they get tight enough that they start changing around my jaw and face I start feeling like one of those distorted-faced women from those Picasso paintings.

Everything I like doing makes the tension worse- the positions from which I have found to read, write, and use the computer. The emotions brought up by reading or writing are bad- because the purpose of the excessive tension it is to block myself from feeling all the emotions I can't handle.

So basically I spend the whole day hoping I can sometime get back to reading and writing- But a lot of the time really failing at doing either.