Loss

I had a dream about you again.

It was... I don't even know how to describe it.

You know that feeling in your chest where it feels like a storm is brewing?

Well my dream was a storm, with raging winds and fierce lightening. I woke up crying this morning.

I couldn't speak for some time after, and I couldn't make eye contact with anyone, especially myself.

I wish my subconscious weren't so perceptive. Maybe then it would be easier. Easier to fool you.

I know you're just a ghost of the past, but please stop hanging over my shoulder?

Your weight is too much to bear.

I know you know what happened, what I did. Stop looking at me like that, or I'll turn your picture around so I won't have to look at it every moment of every day.

Sometimes I wish you never existed, and you were only a blurry face in my dreams that I forget when I wake up. I wish I never knew what it felt like to cry so much I threw up, or be so sad and desolate that I tried going to sleep and never wake up. I wish this life were only a dream. I wish.