It didn’t do it for me

I'm sorry

but your phone call

didn't do it for me

I ran out of apologies

by the time the nurses

told me to stop crying

and when I walked

out of the

hospital and my sister

didn't answer my texts

in the blazing sun

not seen behind

hospital walls

it still wasn't as painful

as the night

I lurked on social media

and found my ex's

new girlfriend

and that didn't really

do it for me either

writhing on a mattress

that had belonged to my sister

I screamed into a pillow

and died for the second time