dysphoria

two boxes

❏M

❏F

opposing sides,

forever at war

pink and blue

like black and white

yin and yang.

no one

can upset

the balance.

you must choose.

no one likes

when you mix the paints

in the watercolor tray.

suddenly

you're the bad guy

just because you feel like

purple.

male

or

female

?

i have to pick one.

i want to pick one.

but nothing feels right to me.

so all i can do

is suffer in the impossible inbetween,

full of dysphoria that

doesn't exist.

at least

that's what people tell me.

these thoughts in my head

are ramblings of a lunatic

and i just need to

get over it.

i have to close my eyes

swallow my vomit

stop looking in the mirror

ignore everyone

ignore even myself

and choose.