Five Favorites

There are jokes and then there are jokes, but when

you can tell one in just one line, it's more

than enough to cause a ripple of laughter

to break out of you.

These are my favorite five of all time.

Plus one added as a bonus.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather…

not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

She hit the ceiling.

Light travels faster than sound, which is the

reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation

toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off.

I guess I was stoned off my ass.

Bonus:

I saw a sign the other day that said, ‘Watch for children,’ and I thought,

‘That sounds like a fair trade.’