Congratulations! You Did it!

I want to make a party, design it like a birthday

Have a big ol' banner with bolded words "You Did It!"

A cake with elegant red caligraphy screaming "Congratulations"

I want to see my parents walk in as they take in the crime scene

For their eyes to widen and smiles to smear across their faces

For a twinkle to awaken in their eyes

I want them to feel happy, like they've accomplished something

Like they deserved this, that they were the best father and the best mother

Like they were the best husband and the best wife

Like they were the best couple of human beings to exist

I want to pry my mouth open and sing along to a birthday tune

"Congratulations! You did it! You really did it!"

They'll nod along, confused

Not knowing why this is happening, but that it is

They'll smile for me, real wide as I change the lyrics

"You really fucking did it! You really killed her!"

Just to see that smile and light in their eyes die

"Congratulations! You killed her in every way but physical!"

I'll keep on grinning, showing off my pearly teeth as I keep on singing

"Yes, you really did! She's fucking dead"

There will be a beautiful silence that I've been longing to hear for these 23 years

Then, like when I'm angry, spiteful

Like all the rage, sorrow, and misery that's acculmulated and rotted my soul

That grin will fall off the face of the earth

I'll tell them what I've been dying to let them know

"I'm so fucking tired, I don't even want to be alive right now"

Maybe, they'll fucking hear it this time