How to: Hurting, Healing, Loving

Question: How am I supposed to find love in this chaos?

Answer: You don't.

—

Hurting—

from all of the parts of me being forced together and pulled apart

"use your heart and your brain"

"wear a mask, numb the pain"

"stay connected, stay away"

it's always a guessing game.

Healing—

from all of the trauma of my past

so that I can be passionate without feeling shame

(I'm learning how to live: clinking glasses filled with stardust, breathing Aurora borealis while the colours fill in the holes of my personality, feeling the fire of the sun and the weight of the water as I let it all dance around me (I am invincible not invisible))

Loving—

letting life kiss my lips while I slip into blissful future reminisce.

(finding gaps in the timeline of what is supposed to be and chasing white rabbits down holes of mystery, only to come out into the same reality but as a completely different person. Holding onto hands that lead me into the night and dancing along the stars to land on the biggest one of all and become reborn).

—

Question: So should I stop looking for love?

Answer: Love and life are fateful lovers.