always-ending moments

we are riding down the highway and

you are next to me, you are

driving

the windows rolled down, your hair

flying in the wind

flying into your face and

the wind and the music create a pounding beat and

my heart beats along.

i am scream-singing to the music and you are

laughing

as you squint into the sun

the sun dancing on your face.

you glance at me

not too long not too long, eyes on the road

but you glance at me and your gaze is

warmth

pure sunshine.

it tastes like honey,

it feels like safety.

i couldn’t be happier and yet --

and yet.

i am already missing this moment

i am living it and already knowing that it will be gone in two seconds

two more

soon it will end it can’t last forever and

i am already aching for it back.

i would stay here for an eternity of forevers

would you?

and even if you would

even if we both would

we wouldn’t. we

couldn’t.

i am aching for this moment because the

past-present-future are

ever-intertwined i can’t

separate them i can’t

be here and now when

then and there exists.

i can’t separate happy from sad because sad is

always at the core of happy.

i can’t separate them because sad lives at the end of the firecracker when

happy fizzles away

and firecrackers don’t last forever.

soak this in, soak it in, soon it will be

gone.