Rambling Rumbles

Everybody thinks I'm doing well.

Resilient and forward thinking.

And I am.

But oh

my

god

this hurts.

I cant deal with my pain right now.

I'll sink and drown at the bottom of my ocean

if I sit for too long

soaking in my salty sea.

Self-preserving four.

Let them think youre happy.

Help them with there problems

so they dont know how much

youre struggling.

Get out of my head to

get out of my bed.

Early rising.

Fix my sleep.

Fix my eyes so

they cant peep

into your life

where I want to be.

Traumatic dramatics.

I am at peace.

But I am also

losing pieces

of myself.

I'll fix the holes with gold

and new

and old

and I will be what I will be -

that smoothie-drinking-hippy

who's oh-so-happy