self

these days,

i'm okay.

the world is brighter.

the sunset holds untold wonders.

i sleep soundly,

and my dreams are random and meaningless,

just the way i like them.

food no longer tastes like dust,

i savor every calorie

without wanting to spit them back out.

these days, i'm okay.

and i hate it.

i don't know who i am

without dark skies and fuzzy vision.

i don't know who i am

without nightmares lurking under my eyelids.

i

don't

know

who i am without my demons,

they comfort me

in knowing that, through the pain,

i will always know who i am.

i can be Depressed.

i can be Anxiety.

i can be Ugly.

these are things i know how to be.

but now my demons are gone,

leaving me with Okay.

and i miss them.

i miss the insults whispered in my ear

and the lies and the pain.

and i want them back,

because my demons comfort me.

and i don't know who i am

without a devil on both shoulders.