Night

crying into a pillow

wishing it was a real person

hoping that lightning strikes you

before you wake up

desperate for pain

begging to be set free

wishing i had a knife

to sever my arteries

but anything will do

all i want is for pain to

rip into my flesh

i deserve to suffer

for all the things i've done

so why are my limbs frozen

why can't i get out of bed

some outside force is begging

for me not to cut my skin

not to sever ties with sanity

and dance in the darkness within.

i lay frozen in my bed

wishing for pain

but unable to move

praying for company

but forever alone.