Dear E, Happy Valentine’s Day

I made a playlist for a sadist,

who is shamelessly self involved. 

One who couldn’t resolve himself to

just take responsibility for his actions. 

How embarrassing for him,

because my reaction - my conclusion, 

is that all of this confusion, 

can’t just be for your amusement. 

It’s because you’re fucked up,

and it was just my luck that I came to meet

you when I did. 

I poured my heart out with my favorite bands, 

and now I understand why girls like

Bridgers write so much music,

it’s so they don’t lose it, with these boys 

who make you feel joy just to take it all away. 

To my dismay, Bob Marley was right when he said,

“The biggest coward is a man who awakens 

a woman’s love, without the intention of loving her.”

Is it even worth a mention how you scoured your 

own heart for words to make me feel secure, 

just so later I’d endure the actions of a saboteur? 

I was so committed and it’s so hard to admit it

because I genuinely thought you felt the same, 

and maybe you do, 

but your insane attempt at showing it

made it easy to let go of you. 

So when you’re on the island,

I hope you think of me awhile and 

every song you hear

makes it clear that you don’t deserve someone 

who will pour their soul out to you. 

Pour yourself a drink instead, maybe smoke a cigarette,

and try to get me out of your head, 

while my music plays in the background,

and all those stories we talked about,

make you remember you’re unoriginal.