Giving Him Up

He was my security blanket. Always there when I needed him. Some people smoke, other people drink, but my go to was a man.

From grade school friends to high-school boyfriend and quickly back to friends again, we traveled the whole spectrum of a boy girl relationship. He was my weakness.

As we passed into adulthood, fate brought another girl into his life.Our relationship remained unchanged for awhile,until one day it all came crashing down. They were expecting a baby.

Now that there was a child coming into the mix, I could no longer let myself continue to call on him when life threw lemons into my path. It was time to move on.

Although my decision had been made, it didn't fully sink in till I met his daughter. That night as I drove home from the hospital with tears pouring down my face I cried for the loss of a friend, a lover, a security blanket, and much more. I cried for things I couldn't even put into words. The grief that overtook me was shocking and scary but it was the push I needed to let go.

Meeting that beautiful baby girl was the start of a whole new life for me. Although we remain friends, I no longer call on him for everything. In a way, he was my cigarettes and my whiskey. Smokey and strong and always there to chase away the blues.