My expression is not for you

I say something, and the look of confusion you give me is an ice cube falling down my back, I recoil reavaluate and find a synonym that you will understand.

And the more we talk, the more I simplifiy summarize and my vocal vocabulary steadily decreases, my sentances shorten sounds are used to imply interest

You leave and I am left in a mess of half-baked hap-hazard phrases, I have spent so long translating my expressions that their expression is lost to me

Through simplification my thoughts have been simplified at their source

I am left wanting wandering over ghosts of words I used to know, now only echoes strange sounds with meanings both present yet disconnected

My mind a dictionary, with definitions but no words, only letters, syllables, and impressions remain.

I am left floundering frantically finding what used to be self-evident to me

Relearning relishing in the wonder of words

Reminding reaffirming the value of my knowledge regardless of your understanding.

I do not have to change so that you can understand me

I do not have to simpify myself

I do not have be anything other than what I am.

-My expression is not for you-