Queen

Call me Queen, dear human

They worship me, you know

And you should too

if you know what's good for you

The highlight of my day

is digging my beautiful claws

into the back of your leather couch

So satisfying

Don't try the spray bottle

It's unpleasant

but it won't deter me

A dog?

Please, they're pathetic

Begging for attention

At your beck and call

I serve no one

Me, myself and I

You think I'm vain?

Yet my food dish is always full

My litter box freshly scooped

For if I see so much as a lump

I will gift you with my excrements

on your bed

Yes, being a feline is far better

Not a con, being me

You can love me when I see fit

Otherwise, I will be in my cat tree

looking down on my subjects

Sincerely,

Queen