Martin vs Santa

Martin the elf

Was stuck on a shelf

Condemned for the rest of his days.

Moved every night,

He pondered his plight,

His anger a burning red haze.

The big man at the pole

Had found what he stole 

And fixed him one night with a gaze.

“The good girls and boys

Deserve all these toys,

You’ll be punished for your thieving ways.

A life you must spend

Sitting on your rear end

Being moved in the human’s new craze.

By next Christmas Eve 

I trust you’ll perceive 

The old saying that crime never pays.”

But Martin found out

His union had clout,

He’d exercise all of his rights.

Mr Claus would soon find

His production line grind

To a halt on December nights.

The elves would down tools

They were nobody’s fools,

They gathered beneath Northern Lights.

“Free the elves

Stuck on shelves!”

They shouted out their civil rights.

Santa was tough

He’d had quite enough

Of these short men in ridiculous tights.

Above the raised voices 

He considered his choices

Where to get more bikes, trucks, and kites.

He picked up his cell

And thought ’What the hell,

I'll do what everyone does at this time of year.’

He’d heard on the grapevine 

Most people ordered online,

He could retire the sleigh and reindeer.

‘Delivery Included!’

Meant he could get started

And kick his retirement plans into high gear.

Martin the elf

Remained stuck on the shelf 

He might’ve even shed a small tear.

His plan went awry

And he said with a sigh

“It looks like this is my new career,

To bring laughter and joy

To each girl and boy,

And hopefully some Christmas cheer.”

Be kind to your elf

High up on your shelf.

Wish him Merry Christmas and happy new year!