Pandemic

Written to the tune of Alanis Morrisette’s Ironic:

You’ve got no plans to leave your state

All that’s left to do is wait for your next Zoom date

Or you get by on texting your bae

Nothing to talk about ’cept the last thing you ate

So this is a pandemic, and it stinks

It hurts my braiiiiaaaiiinnn to think about my last vacay

So I tik tok until the pain goes away

Or I roll the dice and play board games all day

And now I need pants so much bigger

If we play it safe, and just stay inside

Rearrange your booOOoOokcase

And find some Clorox to buy

Clean your whole damn house til it shines bright

So you feel good about drinking wine all night

So this is a pandemic, and it stinks

It hurts my braiiiiaaaiiinnn to think about my last vacay

So I tik tok until the pain goes away

Or I roll the dice and play board games all day

And now I need pants so much bigger

I know what you’re gonna say

That playing Animal Crossing every single day is wasting all my time

Yeah I know what you’re gonna say

That cursing out loud when you think that mute’s turned on gets your boss really on your case

What you wouldn’t give for a kid’s play date

Or let’s be hooOOoOonest, you just wanna give em away

When there ain’t any school you have to do their math right

It’s harder than it seems to avoid one huge fight

So this is a pandemic, and it stinks

It hurts my braiiiiaaaiiinnn to think about my last vacay

So I tik tok until the pain goes away

Or I roll the dice and play board games all day

And now I need pants so much bigger

Yeah I know what you’re gonna say

I had nothing better to dooOOoOo

Yeah well I also wanna say

Corona, you suck

2020, I’m out