"How are you?"

(Internal monologue) "How the fuck do you think I'm doing, asshole? I mean, not that you actually care or anything. If you actually gave a flying fuck about how I am you wouldn't ask that shitty question, you would ask a more personal question. With that question the only response the questioner expects, or wants, is that the questionee is fine. In reality I feel like shit. I got, maybe, [insert number] hours of sleep. I didn't eat breakfast. I was almost late to [insert class]. I forgot/didn't do my [insert class] homework. I'm anxious because I have, like, [insert number] papers to do this week. I hate my body. My brain likes to constantly remind be how much it hates me by not telling my body to make more happy chemicals. I had to deal with [insert disliked person]. And to top it all off: I have a migraine making my eyeballs feel like they're being squeezed out of my skull. But you don't care about that, so, what I'm going to say is:" (External response) "Oh, [choose one of the following: a) I'm fine. b) Ugh. Tired. c) Meh.] How are you?"