Breathe

They tell me to just breathe.

To take a breath in through my nose,

Exhale through my mouth,

And calm down.

But how can I breathe when I feel like I'm being crushed?

How can I breathe when everything's falling down around me?

Is it easy for them?

Do they know how hard it is?

I try to explain to make them understand.

At first I am confused,

Bewildered,

And panicked.

Then things get dizzy and fuzzy,

And I become lost,

Upset,

Frightened.

Things go black,

That's all I can see.

Everything slows and after a while I'm okay.

But I don't remember things.

They tell me I blacked out,

And I feel ashamed and alone.

I go through this so often,

I'm starting to crack.

They never understand..

They don't know what I feel or what I experience..

I'm going out of my mind and all they can tell me is...

Breathe.