For this recipe, the clumsier and more inexperienced the makers, the better:

Take:

- 3 cups of joy

- 2 cups of emotional sensitivity

- 1 cup of vanity

Sift it through:

- competitiveness

- an inability to take up space

- superficiality

Let it sit for five to ten years.

Now add:

- 1 tablespoon of creativity [ this should sizzle and feed the existing yeast ]

- 2 teaspoons of self-righteousness

- 1 teaspoon of anxiety

Leave the dough in a dark environment, to fester with no sunlight.

Optional:

- angsty hormonal teenagers

- angry gossiping

- a few classrooms in need of a scapegoat

A couple of years, start kneading it. Let the dough sweat and cry out. You should pummel before you leave it to rise. It will lose its misshapen beaten up look.

Now, handle it with care and place it somewhere warm, preferably on a leafy balcony overlooking the sea. Pour love and music in, and a few drops of wordy litter.

Next. Put it in a parcel and send it all over the world.