To-Do (constructive criticism please!!!)

i’ve never been very good at the whole

complete-the-sentence

thing. see, i have this habit of answering

trivia in the form of a question

and yes, i know that my identity is anything but

trivial, but ‘jeopardy’ will always be a proper noun to me.

and maybe that’s not the most advantageous strategy

in figuring out this whole

life

thing, but 2020 is a-

familiar pen stroke.

and i know that someday, that

familiarity will be from my

memory

and not my

muscle memory

but for now, it’s half of a question mark

concluded by a horizontal wall

followed by an empty hole.

rinse and repeat and

i soothe my dry hands with a phrase

we will get through this

that’s really more of a question

will we get through this-

facts have always grounded me:

days are 37 minutes longer on mars

there are an estimated 100 billion stars in the galaxy

but now they’re dragging me down

as of today, there’s 55.6 million cases

and it’s funny, i used to think

every one of these bright lights in the night

were the sun but

now i see the constellations

and yet, somehow i still remember

the name of each phase of the moon.

as if-

as of late,

everything translates to

why do i matter?

see, i have this habit of answering

trivia in the form of a question,

and i’ve never been very good at the whole

fill-in-the-blank

thing or empty holes or comprehending things that are

defined by their use or lack

thereof, ’cause at the end of the day, all

there is are

swept-up tomorrows stuck in a yesterday

and we look at these pen strokes and ask the right questions

and wait for the day that we can be proud of our handwriting ’cause-

at the end of the day,

there’s the night.

and at the end of the night,

there’s the day and-

and if life is just a strange combination of action

and reaction

and we’re just tiny particles

bouncing off each barrier and wall

the only thing to do

is stand in the daylight and wait for the moon to catch up-

i matter because-

Contest theme: I matter because...

Artist statement: This poem is a culmination of my reflections on the various challenges of 2020, including things taken away that we previously took for granted and questions that we’ve never had to face before. I wanted to capture my trains of thought and how they lead me to a conclusion I never thought they would: external events obviously shape our lives, but in the end, what matters is getting though each day and putting forth our best efforts despite our circumstances or how insignificant we may seem in the face of huge numbers. Mattering is just a side effect.