Numb3r G4m35

Numbers, numbers

(always running numbers)

I outgrew cereal

before I outgrew stuffed animals and make-belief

92 days of summer

reading labels like they’re novels

Collecting 50¢ words

Maltodextrin

Galactose

Anhydrous dextrose

until my only friends

were over-sized t-shirts and empty plates

bleeding into lumpy sweaters

and first bites

that were always one too many

90 days of winter

scraping numbers into the ever-hungry trashcan

92 days of spring

opening and closing fridge doors and boxes

Rinse and repeat

like lettuce leaves

and carrot sticks

until i’m drowning in fabric and calories

1460 days

too big a number to swallow

what do you think hell is like?

i can tell you this--there are no flames because

hell tastes like chocolate chip cookies

and taco tuesdays

ice cream on hot afternoons

and home-cooked meals

it feels like never enough

and always too much

cold porcelain under trembling fingertips

and brittle hair sliding down a shower drain

It’s just food, you say

I wish that’s all it was