i hope high school treats you well

the words scream endlessly, tirelessly, ceaselessly

remaining in my brain in my main state of pain

holding, hoarding, balance abhorring - the horror

tore her away from my eyes and the blindness -

kindness, what is kindness? god, i wish it was 

mindless - an action taken without thought, caught

up in the motion - a continuous explosion of color

thrown into the gutter - my imagination flutters

like a camera shutter - blinking too fast, too fast

"you're too rash," words uttered, a mutter too 

quick to grab - a flame flickers to cut her to shreds

paper shredder, "it could've been better," and a

tear falls - was that my cheek or yours? of course,

hypothetically i summon a smile, magic and bile

force it deep down - deep down, turn the frown

upside-down and slay the demon of depression

impression, impressionistic, i'm not pathetic

"just forget it," the words are warbled and i

speak

but the words are free like birds, the sobbing assured

internally i fall to my knees and screech like those 

crickets i used to hear when i was younger - brother,

when did i get so soft, emotions aloft and i - i

i stare blankly at the white canvas in front of me and

raise my hand. miss mannequin ma'am's neck creaks

as she snaps her neck to stare at me, and her marionette

earrings click and click and clack against her bright

birch face.

somebody destroyed my canvas, ma'am, i say, voice shaking

but i'm hiding the knife behind my back and the matches 

are hidden in my desk compartment - i can't bring myself

to tell her that i just wanted her to look at me, and

she mutters a "hopeless," with a clickety-clackety of her

wooden george washington teeth, and i smile something 

crooked, because all i wanted was just a taste of

attention.