Who am I, honestly?

Who am I?

I thought I was honest,

But I can't even recognize who I am beneath the lies,

I can't see the person under the "I'm fine..."s,

Or the shame of being hurt,

I would reach out,

Try to grab a life raft to stop me from drowning,

But how do I show people what's behind my mask if I don't even know?

Who am I after the trauma,

Who am I after the pain is gone,

And who was I before; how do I get back to her?

Who am I?