Coming to terms

My feelings are a crime, guilty to the first degree

I know it’s wrong, so frequently it’s unhealthy

When I close my eyes, it’s all I need to see

But deep down I know, you’re the eventual death of me

As certain as the leaves that’ll fall from the trees

I don’t have a choice, it’s been issued by lawful decree

Like clockwork, you’re my every day guarantee

This isn’t even sweet, but I’m attracted like a honeybee

I hold in my feelings, refuse to utter a curse

Instead I write them out, in another sappy ass verse

Worst case, I end up in the back of a hearse

Best case, we exchange “for better, for worse”

But the former is likely if we can’t even converse

I lock up around you, even if I rehearse

I only get halfway before I throw it in reverse

I’m undersold and overwhelmed, wish these thoughts would disperse

I’m talking to myself, you don’t hear what I’ve to convey

I wouldn’t dare put my emotions on public display

I know this shit is cheesy, just another weak cliche

Just give me your truth, something I can take away

These feelings are not an act, a facade to portray

I’m as real as moon in the night and the sun in the day

Let’s get lost for a hour, take a drive in my Chevrolet

There’s no pressure, I promise you all the leeway

But this is fantasy, I can tell by your lack of tone

I begged hard and long for you to toss me a bone

No longer going off, you popping up in my phone

We’re wilted and brown, stillborn, not ever to be grown

I’m a fool, took this long to realize and to have known

We never dreamt together, but separately, on our own

For you this is a speed bump, I’ve clearly overblown

I wished you’d used your words, not the sticks or the stones

So I’ll put down my pen, close forever this book

This never ending stalemate, your queen and my rook

I thought I was the pan, maybe I’m just the hook

Your actions speak loudly, not even gifted a look

Maybe you’re right, and that’s all it should’ve took

Seasoned to perfection, but severely undercooked

We were a roaring rapid, but now a babbling brook

And after a hell of a ride, I hope you’re just as shook

In closing I will say, only for you to hear

I’m level, made peace, I won’t conjure another tear

You’ll pioneer a new frontier in your amazing career

My presence, disappear, my writings a souvenir

Leaving nothing to chance, I want my words to be clear

My only fear is they travel right in and out of your ear

As we gear to persevere the second half of the year

I’ll give you the space, let your mind wipe the smear

I won’t come near, wouldn’t dare to interfere

I meant it then, I mean it now, forever sincere

I wish you the best. Whatever direction in life you decide you need to steer.