I won’t

Until now I’d lost all hope

But now I won't

every morning when I wake up

I wonder

would you be proud of me?

it really doesn’t matter though, does it?

because despite how much I wonder

deep inside I know

you never will be

the first month of college

I thought I was rid of you

but every day reminded me that

I wasn’t

I cringe when people are loud,

because I just hear your voice

I shrink away when people get close,

because all I see is you stepping forward

and my instincts are telling me to hide

I don’t drink

not after I saw what it did to you

I don’t sleep alone

because every time I do

I keep watching the door

hoping you don’t come in

but the part the hurts me the most

is how much he loves me

and how much of you I see in him

but I won’t let you hurt me anymore