732

Our number

Days I’m older

Days I’ve missed you

When this was a pebble, no boulder

I wanted to slow the roll

Prevent what this has come to

I just can’t find the words

I just wish we had a redo

It’s fucked, my head spins

I don’t feel like your brother, your next of kin

I know I can’t say the right things

I’ve never been able to communicate

My words of sincerity, come out as hate

I just want to convey

How I feel

Whatever I mean

This hands deserves a redeal

My intention is to extend a branch off of my tree

But instead I point the barrel back at me

A chalk outline on the floor of a crime scene

I care so much

We grew so much in a year and a half

I didn’t give you the advice you needed, deserved

That hurts me more than the charlie horse in my calf

I thought they were just words

But i fucked us, split us in thirds

It’s not regret, but acceptance

It wasn’t just the things you did and said

This feeling of sludge and repentance

Is of what I didn’t do, didn’t say

I took it personal

I shouldn’t have

Looked away

My tunnel vision kept my eyes on the road

From what truly mattered

It’s not your fault

You were hurt, offended

A heart battered

But I kept driving

Turned the blame away

And I’m so sorry

I live with it every single day

I’m trying to stay on your level

Talk to you in a way you’ll get me

Hear me for what I really mean

I just want you to see

I’m not talking down to you

I just want us to be once again 2 of 3

I know I’m an asshole

But I promise, I’m here, with you

Not on a high horse locked in a castle

I don’t know if it’ll ever be the same

But that’s ok

I just want, one day

A picture of us in the same frame