Breaking inside : trying to keep it together #dementiafuckin’sucks

Your text comes in

I drive over to pick you up

That smile on your face should make me happy

But it doesn’t

You open the door

Hop in and buckle up

Start sayin’ your sorry it’s so late

I didn’t need to come and get you

I’m fine

We do it all the time

It’s not that far

I can smell the alchohol on your breath

Your words are a little messy

And I try to understand

It scares me

I’m angry

I’m pissed

At you. At the situation.

At moms disease

Empathy kicks in...

I know how sad you are inside

There’s nothing I can do tonight

Except drive you home

And listen

And know that right now you’re smiling

Because for a moment you could forget reality

And you feel free from worry

Of guilt

Of loneliness

No matter the cost

So I drive you home

We walk inside together

Say our I love you's

And goodnight

Then I cry myself to sleep

Wondering if this will ever end

Enough sadness for today

It’s all I can handle