No Peters were harmed in the production of this poem

Names are nothing but expectations.

If your name is Peter, they expect you

to be a protector, a rock, but in reality

every Peter I've ever met was an asshole,

So I guess now if I meet you, even if

you're nice at first, I know all Peters

are assholes, and when you show your

true colors, I won't be surprised in the least.

You can blame it on your parents,

they had all this wishful thinking

before you were even born,

"Yeah, Peter's gonna be a good guy."

and they hadn't even met you yet.

So your assholiness was only aggravated

because you were a constant source

of disappointment, but I guess that's what I

expected from you anyway, Peter.

Now whether or not you continue

to meet my expectations or your

parents'... That's up to you. I know

deep down inside you're an asshole,

but hey, if you prove me wrong,

then I'd be the asshole, just writing

bad poems about you on the internet.

I get it, it's alot to live up to, but

at least your name isn't Alexander.