you don’t love me

Add you to a list of people who “love” me. Who reach out when they feel shitty about themselves, only to pull me down with them.

My number is saved in your phone for the times when you are weak, when you need my forgiveness to justify your choices.

Add you to a list of people who “miss me”. Who are getting better, who are thriving, who are lonely as fuck.

I am sick and I am tired.

I am not a phone number or an old friend. I am the one you called a whore, the terrible person you don’t recognize. I am worth the amount of energy it takes to ghost your best friend for months. I am worth nothing but a few nice words to put your mind at ease.

And when you realize that there aren’t people like me, wandering this world trying to give a shit for a change. When you realize that love is not a one-way street, the kind of thing you can take take take with nothing to give. When you realize that I deserve more than you could ever give me, do me a favor and delete my number from your phone.

And please, do not pretend that “love” has anything to do with it.