I will keep you close always.

I keep expecting it to get easier.

The ache in my chest

The hollowness that fills me.

The painful absence of you.

The excruciating reality that you are gone.

Every time I think I’m getting better, think I’m healing I get sucker punched with a wave of crippling grief.

You are so far away now. I keep you close,

I wear your heart made of silver around my neck and it hangs just above my own. I catch myself holding onto it during the day, hoping it will make me feel close to you, praying for some sort of cosmic sign that you are here, that you can hear me. My soul is filled with heartache and never ending grief and I don’t know how to move on from that.